Insulated, isolated and lonely...
According to yet another poll, this one by the American Sociological Review, Americans are lonelier then ever. The average joe in this country has only two close friends to confide in. This is down from three friends per person in 1985. A friend is defined as someone you hold in high esteem, someone whose advice you would solicit, or someone in whom you would confide something deeply personal. The poll also found that 1 in 4 Americans have NO close friends at all. That's a full 25% of all adults!
The usual suspects are cited as contributors to our social isolation. According to the pollsters, we spend too much time at work, commuting, in front of the T.V., and in front ot the P.C. Quite predictable, wouldn't you say? I'd say the Review may be adept at defining the disease (social isolation) but they're guilty of some very shallow thinking with regard to a cure. They say we work too much, and that is keeping us from connecting with others. This implies we need more leisure time. The fact is, I work far less hours then my father & grand-father did, yet previous generations did not report the level of loneliness and isolation we do. For one thing, families used to be bigger and people used to live closer to extended family members. My childhood was full of cousins, aunts and uncles; not to mention week-end trips to Grandpa's farm. The survey doesn't mention this reduction and scattering of families. My father and grandfather also WORKED with their close friends and family; their work had a social element that our confined and cubicled work environments clearly lack. Could it be that work per se isn't the problem? Maybe it's the way we work?
T.V. watching is a bit more plausible to me. I don't see much value in most of the programs, though occasionally there is a thought-provoking documentary, biography, old movie or good, clean, adventure yarn that I will watch with my family. T.V. can be used to zone out and kill time; or it can be used to provoke and stimulate conversation. The key is controlling it and relegating it to a minor place in your life. For me, by far the most irritating aspects of T.V. are the incessant, brainless pleas to buy, buy, buy. But even this can be a profitable tool for teaching discernment and sales resistance.
The computer.. I must confess I have mixed feelings about this box. I have met many wonderful people through blogging, yet a virtual community doesn't have the flesh and blood heft of real, face-to-face interaction. It is inspiring to know there are others out there who share my quirky views; but I limit my keyboard time, so that the people I see everyday know that I value them. The hear and now is, after all, all we have. Man knows not his time. Everyone will strike a different balance here; but now you know why I don't post very much.
Commuting strikes me as the real culprit; but only superficially so. It's not just driving back and forth to work, each of us in our very own metal cocoon, as wasteful as that is. But generally speaking, the automobile has done more to destroy the social fabric of this nation then any other invention. Easy, fast, cheap travel has made it possible to just leave when the going gets tough. Job troubles? Hey, the whole country's your oyster, go where the wages are highest and the pastures are greenest. Marital troubles? Fire up the ole P.C. and look for the next future ex missus; and then go meet her wherever and whenever, courtesy of Henry Ford. Church troubles? The pastor in the next county might tickle your ears, hop in, let's go. We have used the automobile to avoid commitment, and then we wonder why we have no friends. The auto means we don't need our neighbors. We don't love those we think we can replace. As a result, local business, homey traditions and rootedness to a particular place has gone by the wayside, and with it, life-long friends.
It has taken me awhile, (I'm kinda dense) but I now understand why the amish say cars destroy community.
posted by Randall Gerard | 10:33 AM
5 Comments:
Hey, I posted about this topic today too! I didn't think about cars. You are right, they are a contributing factor. Yes, we can blame things all we want, but the ultimate responsibility still falls on ourselves. As you do, to limit your tv watching and computer usage, and spend time with some real live people from time to time.
Good post, Randall! I agree with your thoughts wholeheartedly. I value my computer but truly despise the television. Regretfully, modern technology has increased our dependency on entertainment, making it such an integral part of our culture that we often choose to neglect relationships in order to pursue it. Imagine even in our own homes, each person in his own little box (room) hooked up to a tv, computer, or video game, no desire to interrelate, just zoned out in their own little mindless worlds. ~shudder~
I've just been doing some reading on the Trinity that seems to have some bearing on this. Religions like Islam or Judaism that are radically unitarian posit a "loner god" who had to create in order to have relationship, but who ultimately is complete without any relationship at all.
"The most exalted non-Christian idea of deity involves a being who is eternally alone - with no other to love, no other with whom to communicate, and no other with whom to fellowship." - Ralph Smith, cited by Steve Wilkins in The Federal Vision.
While many are striving to emulate this god, Christians can rejoice in a Trinitarian God who has eternally been in a relationship of love, communication and fellowship, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Shelina,
You're right of course. Ultimately, the way we let things crowd out relationships is entirely our fault. Still, there are aspects inherent to some technologies that make them very hard to resist. It's very easy to become dependent upon them at the expense of the people in our lives.
Emily,
I shudder along with you. One thing we're dealing with now is having too much house for the number of people living here. It's very easy for everyone to go to a different room and do their own thing. We're thinking seriously of down-sizing just so we have to come face to face once in awhile.
James,
Those are good thoughts. I hadn't considered in connection with this subject that the God we worship is both one and many. If we are created in His image, (and we are) that would explain very well why 'no man is an island'. Thanks.
Great post and comments.
Our TV finally konked out on us a few weeks back. We only had it to watch movies on. So now we are spending less evenings watching movies, and we're actually spending time together playing or doing activities! I had cut off the cable/satellite because we found ourselves watching it too much. But then we found ourselves watching too many movies. We are responsible for our actions, but sometimes we need outside intervention to get to the final goal! :-) I guess He had to show us that we needed to get rid of the actual TV :-)
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